TRAMP Day

TODAY IS Tramp Day: the birthday of David A. Trampier, who left us about 2 years ago in 2014.
Here's one of my fave drawings by him, which I love because the manticore has resemblance to the one photo I've thus far seen of this remarkable artist. I'm always fascinated by the way he makes some of his highly-detailed drawings look like woodcuts almost; and speaking of wood, his details on things made of wood in his pictures must have taken hours to achieve as a finished drawing. Maybe by the end of the year I might make it down to Carbondale and try and find some people who knew Tramp...I think there should be a memorial for him too in that city, as I've heard that there isn't one. We'll see. For now I appreciate remembering him every April 22nd. Thanks Tramp.

Eat More Beholders: They're Good For You

Get Ready to Save vs Death Ray: A Dead-Ringer for the Real Thing

Chomp on this: get your recommended daily allowance of monster meat by making some fab Scotch egg beholders, from the recipes on the Beholder Pie blog of Will Doyle & his partner Stacey, which is dedicated to the culinary arts in gaming (OK, I'm kidding, it isn't dedicated to that—but it'd be nice). UK readers may want to have a bit of fried black pudding on the side. Don't forget to make some beholder cupcakes for dessert, too. Happy eating. Omm, nom, nom.

Forged Dragons: Claude Nazair's Blacksmith Art

A New Dragon Being Born, Blacksmith-Style

BROWSING THROUGH ETSY one day with the search-word "dragon", I happened to find the amazing blacksmith shop of Canadian artisan Claude Nazair, which he calls NazForge. You'll be amazed at Naz's work—and you might even recognize a similarity of some of his hand-forged (and reasonably priced) iron dragons to our logo dragon-creature...not to mention a slight resemblance to Dave A. Trampier's war-gaming, pool-playing character Wormy, who looks quite surprised in the panel below.

After a Day in the Fire, This Dragon Door-Knocker Enjoys a Cola

Naz Even Makes Custom Iron Dice—Where Else Can You Get That?

A Finished Dragon Hook, Posing With the Tools of the Trade

All images used by permission of Naz.

Still More Obscure Early RPG Artwork

A Gruagach Elf & His Reindeer by Jim Roslof

Valley Elf - Roslof

Libram Study (possibly) Harry Quinn

Bar-Brawl DCSIII Style (my money's on the barmaid)

Even More Fiend Folio Might-Have-Beens

HERE WE'VE GOT the third installment of creatures from White Dwarf magazine that might have ended up in the original Fiend Folio tome—or else that made it in, but with different artwork or descriptions. This selection has some interesting, amusing and bizarre offerings, as is consistent with that unique publication's editorial taste.

THE VOLT of course made it in; and the Erol Otus drawing that is around half a page or so is fabulous—but obviously based on this spooky, alien depiction to the left, once more by Polly Wilson, who in my opinion is as much responsible for creating many of these creatures as the original person who submitted it to the mag. If I saw that thing in a dungeon, I think I'd run home to my hobbit hole and look for the tobacco jar. ZAP!

COUERL. This great cat is a first-cousin of the displacer beast: only this one has got a sort of mane of prehensile tentacles. Many of the entries in the new monster department are variations on a theme—some that work, others who do not. This one I quite like, chiefly because it's a good deal less weird than a large feline with tentacles growing from its back whose hide makes it look like it's two feet to the left or something. A number of things in D&D strike me as being more at home in Gamma World; and the displacer beast is really one of them.













THE GURGOTCH would be almost absurd were it not for Polly Wilson's frightening rendition of this hellish elephant. Imagine an infernal pachyderm following you to blow acid from its trunk, never forgetting that you fired a few arrows at it and ran for your life. It might turn up anywhere when you least expect it. Setting one of these following lower level characters who have to avoid it till able to deal with it, would be almost amusing—for the DM. I find there's too much that's random and final in most RPGs; though not the way I play them.

THE IRON PIG is a sort of poor-man's golem that's made of pig iron. They are fairly easy to keep as pets; you only have to slop it on iron filings you get from the blacksmith; though some owners spoil their pigs by spoon-feeding them iron rations, the best you can get. Somewhat ridiculous, but fun.

THE BRAGGER is another annoyance for the mischief-minded dungeon master. This creature really isn't the imp it appears to be—it's just pretending. In fact, it has a very high armour class and excellent magic resistance—but very little inclination to harm anyone. Rather, it just follows the characters around, bragging about how evil it is and making fun of their mistakes and inabilities to harm it. Braggers (which I would rename braggarts) particularly enjoy disturbing the peace of paladins and clerics that would love to get rid of it, believing it to be an imp. Good for laughs.

MIMBLE. Here we have another bizarre creature that tends to throw itself onto drawn swords for fun. It can regenerate and seems to howl with laughter whenever it loses hit points. Imagine encountering this thing and a bragger in the same evening. You'd pretty well go nuts, then run outside only to meet the dreadful gaze of the gurgotch that's been following you for the past month. That's why it's wise to keep a scroll of dimension door handy. With creatures like these, who needs curses?

Some More Obscure RPG Artwork

A Fantastic Fury by Diesel

A Complex Illustration by Jim Roslof

Original Monster Manual Ad — by David A. Trampier

A Fighting-Man by Jeff Dee

"I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts—OK, Maybe a Little!" by Jeff Dee

Some Obscure RPG Artwork

A Very Rare (and Happy) Troll Knight — David C. Sutherland III

"Go Fight Yourself!" A Mirror of Opposition at Work — Jim Holloway

A Creature by the Inimitable Erol Otus

"Sorry, Did You Want That Sword?" Likely by Harry Quinn

It Looks Delicious! Edibility of Monsters in RPGs

Not Only Could We Eat It—It'd Make a Great Hat Too

RECENTLY WE MADE a blog entry that included some cutesy creature sidekicks that were edible if hungry; and that made me think: which creatures could one eat? I suppose it depends on one's own species and personal tastes, just like in the "real" world. I can recall in the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon that the characters were sometimes chasing different things they met with a view towards breakfast. The most delicious-looking one being a sort of jackalope, which Dungeon Master gets hold of and saves from a ravenous chevalier. Fortunately, Dungeon Master is not a character one is meeting very often, so the opportunity for dinner-time abounds. Let's consider some possibilities, just in case our PCs run out of iron rations.

~ RIGHT NAME, WRONG SPECIES: SOME COMMON MISTAKES NOVICE CHARACTERS MAKE ~

BLACK PUDDING. On the left we've got the sort of black pudding you can eat: on the right, the sort of black pudding that can eat you.

DEVIL DOGS. This is perhaps one of the greatest misnomers of adventuring life. To the left, the delicious devil's food pastry you can eat: to the right, the ravenous slavering beast that eats you. Like the package says, Freshness Guaranteed.

GELATINOUS CUBE. Many an unfortunate event could have been prevented by following this easy identifying method: the type of wiggly cube you eat is colourful & fruit-flavoured: the type that eats you is gigantic and full of metal bits. And no, the dessert doesn't come from harvesting the giant cubes.

~ EATING FROM THE PLANT AND FUNGI KINGDOMS: SOME DOs AND DON'Ts ~

VEGEPYGMIES are altogether surprisingly good as a food source. Of course they do carry pointed sticks and resent being eaten, so the lower-level character is taking their chances. But when properly steamed, the flavour is rather like asparagus.

SHRIEKER caps can be eaten when brazed in hot butter—but the stalk is simply too tough to cook properly. Common culinary lore however tells that those who eat of the shrieker end up becoming shouty: screaming their spells and barking commands at other PCs—and those who were once but quiet halfling lads or silent elf lasses are now piercingly boisterous and given to screaming in high-pitched falsettos; so eat at your own risk.

RANDOM MUSHROOMS, see below entries for specifics—but remember this: unless you have a neutralize poison spell or potion handy, when in doubt: don't eat it.

VIOLET FUNGI are not at all edible: do not confuse them with shriekers (which they resemble). You can tell the difference as they are violet and have sticky branches coming from their caps. Those branches can lash out at you and you could end up feeding a fine new crop of these things. Remember this adage: a purple shroom spells certain doom.

GIANT MUSHROOMS tend to grow in whole forests' worth—but unless you have some friendly fungus folk with you or some other mycophagist, it isn't recommended to eat of them. And don't trust to any pictures in guidebooks, as the giant varieties of smaller types may not be safe for human and demi-human consumption; and turning into a toadstool is a high price to pay for a bellyful of portobello.





~ THINGS YOU CAN EAT—IF YOU CAN CATCH THEM (AND ASSUMING YOU WIN) ~

GIANT CRABS are delicious, provided you survive the encounter. If you do, you need to make a bonfire and get a huge cauldron to boil them in. If, however, you have nothing to breach the tough shell with (such as a heavy mace or maul), your efforts could well be in vain. A man-catcher or some other pole-arm might be useful as crackers; but a battle-axe will thoroughly pulverize the delicate meat within. Serves either eighty elves, fifty humans, thirty dwarves or seven stout halflings; so bring your appetite, a quantity of lemon-butter, and a rather large bib.

THE CARBUNCLE is another shelled delicacy that you might enjoy: but you've got to act fast and roast it quick in some hot embers before it crumbles and shrivels up, which it's likely to do if you don't surprise it. Once properly roasted, the dainty meat can be easily eaten with little olive forks over culinary campfire conversations. Garnished with a bit of fresh wild thyme, the flavour can be greatly enhanced. Magic-users are especially fond of the dish.

RABBITS as all the world knows, are certainly quite edible. But, as has been previously stated on this website, they are dangerous and increasingly well-armed (as seen here with wands of automatic missile fire). Characters of beginning level will do well to keep a low profile when a pack like this is on the prowl, or they might just end up on the spit instead. If, on the other hand, you get the better of these things, they make excellent dining and wonderful pairs of slippers.

GIANT FROGS could well yield a wholesome frog's leg stew—should you manage to defeat them. Just a tip: if you're a lone adventurer, don't try this type of thing without your friends and hirelings, lest the following happen to you—

ADVENTURER is quite good eating, if you're a giant toad and looking for a meal. It's an eat-or-be-eaten world out there—so stay sharp and keep an eye out for things that look hungry...or delicious. Either way, dinner's at eight.

Some Might-Have-Beens in the Original Fiend Folio

IN ADDITION TO having got hold of a load of Dragon magazines, we also have acquired very early editions of the British White Dwarf. By and large the artwork is excellent and quite consistent throughout the early period of the mag—as well as the structure being similar in each issue, with frequent Dungeons & Dragons adventures, complete with maps with the graph-paper grid on the outside of the dungeons and structures depicted, which was certainly a bit different. But what I really like about these issues is that they show many of the creatures that later were collected together to form the Fiend Folio tome, which was edited by Don Turnbull, also a feature editor of White Dwarf.

What I find unfortunate is that a number of the very best creatures from the magazine never made it into the book—and yet some of the silliest ones did. Moreover, although some of the monster illustrations were reused in the layout of the book, some of my favourites were not. These were often done by an artist named Polly Wilson, an awesome UK illustrator whose work would have truly suited the feel of Fiend Folio if having been used more widely (she is listed in the credits). Her work could be seen in the UK editions of Tunnels & Trolls, where she used a good deal of stippling to great effect. As well her depictions would have added a sense of tenseness and charm that is often lacking in the graphic horrors some of the Folio illustrators indulged in, whose depictions had contributed to a few poor reviews of the book originally.

Some of these include Ms. Wilson's illustration for the Svart, which looked quite scary instead of the grotesque image with the giant head that made it in. Especially appealing is the stylized hand-lettering that usually accompanies each entry; again, Wilson's being the most readable. Below I've shown some faves that could be adapted to nearly any FRPG.

THE DRAGON DOG is a pretty good guard dog to have around; just make sure your lair is fire-proof, or that you have excellent insurance. Speaking of insurance, ever wonder who has the old TSR post office box in Lake Geneva? It's apparently an insurance company. It is possible that they may insure your wizard-room in a sort of "save vs. dragon breath" scenario. You'll never know till you ask.

THE ICE MAIDEN is by far my favourite of these creatures. She's made of living ice and has icicles for hair, and shimmers in the light. Her eyes are a sort of iridescent blue—and if she looks at you, you get this really cold feeling, particularly as you turn to ice. It isn't easy to turn your friends back either (keep 'em away from open flame); nor to battle these ladies, as they have a very good armour class. And speaking of Lake Geneva, they have an ice sculpture festival there each winter. I hope one time to attend and challenge one of the artists to make an Ice Maiden. Then the whole town will be full of statues.

THE FROG-FOLK were perhaps supplanted due to a similar creature being included: the bullywug. And whereas I like 'wugs good enough—the drawings in Fiend Folio do not do them justice and bore me to look at. This pic on the other hand, I find of greater interest: I wouldn't want to run in to this guy, whom I imagine as acting friendly at first, only to pull out that scimitar when he's behind someone...

THE SVART, looking more like a D&D monster than the one in the folio: at least I think so. They are described as a sort of halfway point between goblins and kobolds; which makes sense, as the roots of those two creatures in folk-lore come from the same origin—with no giant heads in that family tree.

THE DEVIL DOG: again, somewhat weak picture in the book, awesome pic here. This is no devil's food pastry we're dealing with here—it'd be one snack that'd bite back. This is one scary pooch, with no cream filling. I don't think I'd be throwing a 10' pole for this thing—it'd probably gnaw it to matchsticks in a segment, then come looking for something fresher to eat.

THE GAZER, like most of the beholder-kin, looks a bit ridiculous: though I don't recommend saying that to its face...this is one tough creature, without eyestalks. I can't help but imagine setting up a game with some giants, called "follow the bouncing ball". I'd love to see this thing booted sky-high or dribbled even. Yes, it is somewhat silly—but it belies its true nature. I think I'd run if I saw this.

THE STAIR STALKER likes to attach itself to a particular staircase and will neither leave this place, nor allow others up or down it. If it spoke to you, it would demand you use the elevator instead, or obtain some boots of levitation or whatever. But seriously, I really like this thing and have already included it in a low-level adventure that's in a haunted house. The characters start running fearfully from some spooks they can't handle, only to try and get away down a flight of stairs. Forget it.